TORN

heY its 29th of december. Time flies so fast. We were just in the car lately, travelling.

Now i'm entering a blog again. I just feel like doing it so, here it is.

Wake up call:
5 a.m- rise and shine
6 a.m- finished breakfast meal&done taking a bath
6 a.m onwards- waiting for the car
around 7 a.m- i fall asleep
15minutes before 8 a.m- they arrived
the next following- car flew to destination literally!(kidding)

HA HA what a way to start a day huh? I fell asleep last night around 12 so i thought i woudnt have much energy that day. To my surprise, i was energetic even more that day than before.


L-R: jas,casi,shel



1st Stop:
gaze through the window.
Gumaca Jolibee- for another breakfast
Gumaca Main Cathedral- Attend Christening
Kristine's House in Gumaca- eat lunch, siesta, etc.


R-L: redj,casi,jas

2nd Stop:
enjoying our trip.
kulitan with the driver.
Unisan- Hometown of Shell
Shell's House- went to seashore
enjoyed cool air, take a merienda

3rd Stop:
Cassie's House- Back to Lucena again
Rest for a while and leave again.

4th Stop:
SM Lucena- looking around
watch SRR 10- freaky& funny

5th Stop:
around 10 p.m- walking distance, house of cassie.
made us freakin' coz of strangers behind us
finally got home-sleep over
chat a little then surf the net
n0w, cassie's asleep and i'm alone alive and still awake.

Now, who said that i dont have the energy?I cant sleep again yet again i am not in loved. HA HA
Suddenly, i am torn of my feelings. I know i am happy but i cant help the feeling that there is still something missing. I just cant explain what's missing. Its making my head spin and whirl. So, i'm not gonna punished myself for nothing. I'm gonna drop it. That's it!
To sum it all up, my day turns great. I am happy, energetic, and hoping that time can really tell.


+worn out+
= crazyredj =

crazyredj's words:
I am empowered by Stability. My virtue is silence.

INSPIRATION

INSPIRED BY YOU

by:crazyredj

IT WAS LATE AT NIGHT
THINKING OF WHAT’S RIGHT
LIVING MY LIFE WITH A LIGHT
SEEING MY DREAMS WOULD BE BRIGHT

I WAS LONELY AND I FEEL BLUE
DID’NT EXPECT, BUT YOU CAME THROUGH
I CAN’T RESIST, I HAVE NO CLUE
YOUR WORDS INSPIRED ME TO BE TRUE

STOP PONDERING AND START COMMITTING
LIFE’S NOT EASY BUT IT’S WORTH LIVING
IF YOU STOP,IT WILL CREATE NOTHING
SO, GIVE YOUR BEST AND KEEP TRYING

I GAZE THROUGH MY WINDOW,THE MOON IS SO BRIGHT
I REALIZED THAT IT WAS TIME TO TURN OFF THE LIGHT
GETTING READY FOR BED, SMILING THAT HE WAS RIGHT
FEELING SO WARM AND COZY I FINALLY SAID GOODNIGHT.

I wrote this poem last 24Th of June. It was a long time ago, well for me it is. This poem was in my old blog site. I remember this poem is my first and successful attempt in writing a poem again. Meaning, i tried writing a lot but this one is the only one i finished and it took me just 15 minutes. I had flashback memories while reading this again.

I wrote this poem because of a guy who inspired me through his pure thoughts and made it into inspiring words that made me realized how wonderful life is.

Wondering who?ha ha no one knows who that guy is except for me. I even don't mention him to my closest friends. Well, even for a while i am a private person too you know. I guess what i am trying to say is live your life. Be happy. Be inspired. =D

super smiley crazyredj

Quote to share:

There is never an end till your last breath. Never lose hope. If you believe in something or want to achieve something, never give up because there is always a chance as long as you heart doesn't stop beating.

[+ UP UP en AWAY +]

It's Christmas my beloved friends. Here i am, can't sleep can't eat and nope i am not in loved ha ha i am not just in the mood. wHAaat? not in the mood?Yeah, you know mood swings strikes again and no words can explain what, how and why I'm feeling this.

Lately, just to catch up with me, we had our pinning and dedication ceremony and boy we made history DECEMBER 15, '08! Making this day not a big deal for me but afterwards i can hear in my head what the speaker told us about the "treasured chest" making me realized it was a big deal ha ha and i was so wrong but i had fun.

The MedTech Society had a Christmas Party. As usual, all year gathered and we were like coping up with the juniors, the interns, and the freshmans. There is no program prepared exactly, but it was successful just winging it.

The day after, all sophomores went to RHU for community duty. We had our orientation and they toured us in the center. I did realized it before but to tell you honestly the feeling is different. PRESSURE is ON that's all i remember. Anyway, a challenge is a challenge so, keep it coming. I love taking responsibility and that is why i take this course anyway. Still, i cant wait for the next duty.

The RG also planned a party and boy we had a blast. Composed of Cassie, Shell, Tin, Jas, Cindy, Marissa and Me with the PT namely, Jarvis, JC,PJ, Paul, and Arth. Each of us brought different foods to share then eat. We also had our own games and we were like silly kids playing around. After filling our stomachs until it hurts because of the outrageous laughs we made each everyone content and very happy. But it didn't stop there, we went to each house bringing a car and a driver. Huh!Joyride?Well, sort of. Almost a perfect day=)

Vacation started and first on the list of my schedule is the concert. We are not actually complete because Cindy and jas had their own plans and suddenly Marissa got a fever so the four of us left went there. It was a choir concert and one of our professor is a member so he ask us a little favor. Cassie take over the video and i am in the camera taking pictures. It turned out to be a good concert, it made us laugh ha ha and we really had fun spending the experience, it made us feel that others can count on us and that we are trustworthy students. Ending the day sleeping at Cassie's house.

I actually started a few minutes before Christmas and now it's around 1 am in the morning. Still not sleepy and we kinda stop eating noche buena together like a couple of years ago but we do have foods and we are all here together. I now understand that Christmas is for kids, i am still a kid though but the excitement of Christmas Holidays were gone. I don't know, maybe because last year i realized that Christmas doesn't make everybody happy, i experienced last year Christmas Blues because of what had happened to me being sick and all. I realized that some people experienced it the same way i did, others were worst but i don't feel the same way now 'coz I'm lucky enough to have gone through everything and still facing it courageously.

I don't know exactly how to end this entry, i was actually watching t.v while blogging then I'm also online chatting with Cassie. I remembered, one time we were ask by our professor to make an essay about our happiest day or experience. Many of my classmates already knew what to write and started writing. I was like what?And i knew i had to start also before the time given runs out but i cant think of a single idea. I tried to remember everything in my knuckle head but boom nothing. Then i started looking at my friends (RG), i sigh and smile then start to write. In the essay i write " i thought that my life was over after knowing that i have a rare disease but after i was diagnosed, left the hospital, rest a while in the house, coming back to the school everyday is a happy day because i got to spend time with my friends." I didn't finish the essay though 'coz i run out of time but i was smiling to my professor when i submit it to her. Then she smiles back wondering.

I know that only God knows what exactly i am feeling. The feeling of a patient like me. As i have said, mood swings strikes again. I know it's bad but i cant help the feeling to be impatient, bossy, and very straight forward. Yes, indeed i am guilty and I'm trying to change. But sometimes, the one whose around me needs to change first so i can be understood. I don't know if i am right to say that you cant blame me because i am sick but how am i supposed to do?This disease will be forever in me and i am fighting for it.I need a lot of understanding because my day depends on my body system.

Have a Blessed Merry Christmas!!

Quote to share:

"if opportunity doesn't knock on your window; then build a door"

"reminiscing"

The first day of school’s second semester:

I am not really excited coz i had to wake up early. Silly me i was late for 30 minutes (LAUGHS). Good thing i already knew my professor.
Recently, i’ve lost of my track. I’ve been busy having too much fun and not really care. I did a lot of thinking on how to stay on reality. My mind is troubled, thinking of my chosen career, my future, as well as how to handle all the issues that’s bombarding me recently.

The semester’s break really came through. I got a chance to relocate things, think it over and made solutions.
The first day i actually didn’t expect things to be exciting. I got thrilled and goosebumps. I was so worried about of my future but thinking, look at me now, i got this far, i know i have the confidence that will really help me overcome more obstacles i will face in the future. And today, i know i will do great things like i always do. Making everyday of my life to the fullest and be the best that i can be.

Thinking of what i’m going through i guess what i’ve gained mentally will by far outweigh many people, especially those who really knows me and i think that’s the real beauty of forcing myself out of my comfort zone. I know that the beginning of all things are small. And i should be brave enough to take the first step and make it big.

To add to that, i know since i met my friends ( the RG ) i will never be alone and lonely. Eventhough, my passion to live more leads me to overcome these trials, this journey will never be complete without them. To that i am always thankful and feel blessed because i became a part of them.

Time flies so fast. Now, we are counting the days, i mean weeks, okay it's actually months!ha ha before entering our third year college life. Whew, i know right? I'm so excited.

The RG is still going strong. We celebrate our first year anniversary and it is amazing how our group got to be this close to each other. Ofcourse, we had our petty fights and arguments but what we have bigger than love in our relationship is UNDERSTANDING. The seven of us really appreciate each other despites of all the differences. Apart from being classmates, we are not your ordinary group of girls. We never smoke or drink for fun. Our simple hangouts is just be with each other have a simple lunch at one's house, catch a movie flick, maybe go to the mall but most of the time talking with each other until we laugh ourselves off. HAHAHA GOODTIMES!

For those who are reading this, i understand that we can never go back to what is completely done. We should share good moments with the ones we love and people who love us back. Memories though are not perfect and so are we, so starting today make use of the time to spend it with people who you really treasures of.

I already find mine. Who's yours?

A qoute to share:

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away"

"witTy,wiNdy,bReezy mE"

Hi!Everyone.

Today i am feeling great.

Why?

Well, here's 7reasons why...

7.) I wake up smiling remembering that i had a dream. Although, i forgot exactly what it was LOL. I tried to get up in my bed as possibly as i can but i was too lazy to get up, realizing i was asleep for only 7hours and it is weekend. What the heck? I have to consume this moment to go back to sleep again because it's weekend men, i am supposed to sleep at least 10 hours.Ha ha anyway, just thingking of it makes me hungry so i end up walking through the kitchen asking my Mum for breakfast. HA HA!

6.) I had a good breakfast. A piece of bread and one hot cup of choco. Nothing really special about it, but it sure makes my hungry tummy feeling oh s0o good ha ha. It's freezing out here, talking 'bout Christmas eh?It's coming in less than 3weeks. I cannot wait.

5.) I turned on the T.V. I watched CNN,BBC, Disney, Animax, HBO,ABS-CBN,Cinema 1,Jack TV,MTV,MYX,Lifestyle Network and Discovery's Travel and Living. I sit down the whole morning like a sloppy couch potato and i was in peace.Ha ha

4.) The afternoon comes and i was in the mood for some other activity. I grab my pen and a paper, and i started writing. Then i realized, i have exams the next week so, i scan my papers and scheduled my time when i will start to study for it. (but it was just an excuse for me not to study today sSsHhhhh..that was a secret) I'm not really in the mood though. I thought that it would be useless if i'm not feeling it, right?And i'm kinda sick actually but i'm trying to ignore it.

3.) I really love Christmas season. I love the breezy wind. It tickles me from head-to-toe ha ha. Eventhough, its freezing me out who cares?This climate is sure fits in my situation being allergic to the sun and all ha ha. What a good day.(sigh)=)

2.)I had a moment imagining what my future would be like. I am so imaginative that i laugh myself off thinking i was like a big dork. But thingking of the future, i know that i will do great. It makes myself really up for it and i know i'm gonna be ready and i will do my best.

1.) Tomorrow is another day. Like what i have said, i am kinda sick but i know "SUPERHUMAN always recovers SUPER FAST" ha ha so i will try my best to feel better. I am so excited to see my friends again (R.G).

I can't wait for tomorrow.

A qoute to share:

"Life is 10% of what you make and 90% of how you take it"

"blank 18"

(tAhNan)blogger.com, the place to start a blog and here i am

Hi!This is my first entry and if you're curious this will be a great entry to start reading with. "blank 18" here it goes..

A couple of weeks ago, i finished my 2ND quarterly chemotherapy and i was told that i have to change my doctor next year. I am no longer in pediatrics doctors hands and I was stuck at the moment, puzzled to be exact wondering why. Then, I realized I'm not a baby anymore though i am still the princess of my own ha ha. I can't believe 2008 will end soon, another year will be gone and another one will come. At first, it didn't make sense, living 17 years of my life not knowing the essence of age and now i am hesitating to add a number. Now, i understand.

I am the youngest and only daughter of my parents, so i guess that makes me a valid princess LOL. I am sweet, caring and loving, well at least i think so. That's why I'm used to people treating me like I'm still a child or like their little sister and maybe that's what i wanted to feel too. It's the first time that i get nervous just thinking of my upcoming natal day.

18 is the age number where debutante's celebrate. I don't know if its worldwide but here, it is on that age. Others, celebrate it in a grand debutante ball but i don't need that. I think for me just celebrate it with my loved ones will be great. And gifts don't matter, greetings will do just fine but if your too shy to speak up flowers will do ha ha. I am not a lady-like girl, like every debutante or whatever your thinking. I am just a girl but not your ordinary girl. I know I've always been a child-like attitude but i guess it is natural for me being the youngest. Although, I do act like an adult sometimes, in terms of reality check, like what real friends do, and in decision-making i know i made a difference.

I remembered reading something in the net. It says "We do not stop playing because we are old;We grow old because we stop playing."

WOW!Can you dig it?ha ha It's right though. Life is a game and we should never stop playing it because it's the game that still goes on and on even when you give up on it. But why give up, when you can finish the game right?

Anyway, i think finding a humor everyday is the key on staying young. Being happy with your loved ones and achieving success is second. Having a dream is the last. And we should never loose our dream, when you loose your dream you die. I just realized that a lot of people die but still walking around. So, never let your dream die and still you can see that your walking ha ha.

A month from now, i am turning 18. What's the feeling? Well, there's a part of me that is scared, happy, not excited but thrilled to top it all sad 'coz i know i can never be 17 anymore. But i know adding a year older doesn't take any talent or ability. Anybody can grow older. But the idea is to grow up by always finding an opportunity in change. Have no regrets.

Why blank 18? Well, it's because i will start at a blank slate. I remembered myself saying to a friend that in any year we should be fruitful. I've been through a lot this year and just what like God promises , He promised a safe landing, not a calm passage. If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it. So, I'm going to live it up, be more spontaneous and enjoy more the journey. I understand, that being 18 is where i will start to take more responsibility and take it seriously. I know age doesnt really matter but i wake my mind up that this is an opportunity to be thankful again, learn more, and act mature. Remember, "growing older is mandatory:growing up is optional"

HAPPY ADVANCE 18Th BIRTHDAY CRAZYREDJ=)